Pantries & Parties

So the weekend came and went. D had a band competition at Alvin CC. He got to see a bunch of old music dudes he hadn't seen in a while. Meanwhile, I cleaned the house like maniac and reorganized the pantry. It had been yelling at me for about a month. I was literally having to dig through stuff to find anything! It looks all cutie now with baskets and labels!

We went to a surprise bday party for a friend on Saturday night at Star Pizza. It was a total surprise for him! Then we went out to a new 80's club called Etro. It was pretty fun as well. Sunday, we slept in and D smoked a brisket all day for dinner. It was YUM-O! I went to a Home Interiors party with mom. I hadn't been to one in a few years and it was at an old friend's house (both the hostess, the seller and the seller's sister). It was nice to see them again after all these years. And if you're interested in buying something, check out her website: Home Interiors & Gifts

Guess what? AF has arrived! Dr. H said a few days after I quit the estrogen and progesterone that she would show up. I didn't believe him. Only because 4/6 months she never came! So on to more CD3 b/w on Wednesday!

Grateful for:

• AF arriving in a timely manner
• Bunko is tomorrow!
• Peanut butter chocolate banana cream pie - I made this for my pg friend last week to take to her while she's at home on bedrest. I only had 1 piece and left the rest for her. I wish I would have made 2! I will definitely be making it again soon!

March for Babies

It's that time of year to help support the March of Dimes. Donate to Team AJ or sign up to walk, sponsored by AJ's Mom, a fellow blogger. The Houston walk is Sunday, April 27 at 9:00 AM.

AJ has been one of the lucky ones. Born 14 weeks early, he weighed only 18 ounces at birth. Today he is a smart, happy 3 year old boy who loves trains, singing, and playing with his friends. Many of the babies who shared the NICU experience with AJ will have long-term or even permanent physical disabilities and developmental delays.

Help support the March of Dimes to research ways to prevent prematurity for other kids like AJ.

Grateful for:

• March for Babies
• Birthday Parties - one this weekend, one in the works
• Which Wich

To Do List

I just got the b/w results from yesterday's 2WW Grand Finale.

Prog.ester.one: 89.8

Estro.gen: 98

Pregnant: BFN

I knew I wasn't pg based on the prog. test from last week and Dr. H saying I didn't ovulate. Oh, well that plus the 3 negative HPT's I took over the next few days. We did get some of Dr. H's time yesterday to chat. Even though the nurse said "oh I only have you down for b/w today. I'm not sure you can talk to him." WTH? I had a clustered up ovulate/not ovulate/saw it on the screen episode with IUI #1 and you don't know if I can talk to him because I don't have an "appointment" even though I am IN THE OFFICE??? yeah, whatever. I was talking to him no matter what she said anyways. so there Mrs. High and Mighty NURSE!

Anyways, he basically said that I didn't ovulate based on the progesterone levels. I questioned what we saw on the u/s and he said that sometimes it can appear that you ovulate even when you don't. He was glad we were still going through with the pg test yesterday because he has seen some RARE cases where the prog. is really low and the girl was actually BFP.

Dr. H cracks me up every time we have a "chat" because we do it in his Training Room. I am assuming it is called training because that is where he trains people how to give injections. Other than that, its just a bunch of posters and diagrams and replicas of reproductive organs laying around. Of course, DH and I had to play with them.... And after the chat, he writes down a "To Do List" for us....LITERALLY. He writes TO DO LIST at the top of the paper!

To Do List

• Take estro.gen and prog.ester.one for 7 days. (today is day 6)
• Period should start after stopping e and p
• Call on CD3 for b/w
• D - continue taking Proxeed twice a day (D had self determined to only take once a day since he "knew" IUI #1 would take. how sweet of him.)
• Treatment plan - Clo.mid 100mg (was on only 50mg), more Meno.pur injections (only had 1 two days before IUI last time) throughout clomid to better assist follicle growth.

Grateful for:

• Our 2nd chance at a miracle

Wordless Wednesday

This pic reminds of my Christmas Cookie Bake-a-Thon, but it was our Easter Egg-a-Thon. Below are Shayla's rice crispie treats cut into Easter shapes and decorated with icing (below is an in progress pic.)

This was my Easter treat - it's a Peeps cake that looks like a Sunflower!

And this would be my dear husband....squirting the leftover deviled egg stuff directly into his mouth!!

Blah

I must just be a glutton for punishment. I did another POAS this morning. It had the outcome I knew it would have. I just thought that maybe since I am now "supposedly" 13 days past the IUI that maybe, just maybe, there would be a faint line to give me hope.

HOPE, SCHMOPE!

I am still keeping the Beta appointment tomorrow just to confirm in the medical world (versus the pee test world) that we are definitely NOT pregnant.

The husband and I had a talk last week about how many times we would attempt all of these various medical procedures to make ourselves a baby. We agreed on 3 IUI's before moving on to IVF. Hopefully we won't ever get to IUI #3 OR IVF.

Grateful for:

• the fun time we had at Hollie and Bo's Easter EGGstravaganza.
• my new flowers I planted in the front yard last weekend.
• the vanilla Blue Bell ice cream with LITE chocolate syrup Dean made me last night. "LITE" chocolate syrup. Isn't that an oxymoron or something?!

POAS

Well, it being 10dpiui and all, plus the shotty response from the RE's office, I decided today was the day to POAS. I bought 2 boxes of 2 - Fact Plus and CVS - and did one of each. As you can see from the picture, the results were not happy results. Now, I the pressure is off me to be confused or think that "maybe" there is leftover HCG from the trigger or that there is a faint line to obsess over getting darker for the next 4 days. Now the pressure is on AF to rear her ugly head....again. And given that the past few months there have been a couple times she didn't EVER show up...This could be a long, long wait.


Bad news - we went out to Big Texas last night for a friend's birthday and I had plain old Coke. Plain old Coke at a country bar!!! Too bad, I could have at least partaken in the fun!

Good news - I will be able to partake in the Easter EGGstravaganza fun tomorrow!

Well, its off to put on my Workin' Weekend clothes, dig in, and pull some weeds!

To Ovulate or Not to Ovulate....

So hopefully not too many of you read the previous post for today. If so... sorry, it's been permanently deleted.

I called the clinic to get my prog.ester.one b/w results. From what I've read, if I was pg without medication, it would be 10. With medication, it would be close to 15. Are you ready for my number?.......................................................... 0.9
Seriously. I suck at prog.ester.one. I didn't even know you could have less than 1.0. She said this means that I did not ovulate and that Dr. H wants me to start on Pro.metri.um again. We hung up after I gave her my pharmacy number. And then I started thinking, well what the hell did that mean? Did that mean this cycle was a bust? Does that mean I am not pg? Does that mean I have to start a different treatment?

So I called again. She said that Dr. H seemed concerned as it visually appeared that I had ovulated because after the insem. he did an u/s. This showed CLEAR AS DAY the mature eggie and the collapsed follicle it had come from. He said "oh look you ovulated right on time." And yet the prog. level is 0.9? Doesn't this seem conflicting? So I asked the nurse what to do going forward. Is this a bust? Am I pg or not? Her reply was I MIGHT be, but probably not. Oh, thanks for clearing that up, you freak show.

I have an appointment next week for the blood pg test. Do I need to keep it? Well, it's up to you. WTH? So, I was going to have a bottle of wine with dinner tonight due to this report. Does this mean I continue as if I am pg and not partake in the beverages? GRRRR

So I will continue on...obviously buy a ton of HPT's on the way home tonight and obsess over them for the next 6 days until the beta. Then hopefully that will confirm in a more clear and precise manner exactly what is going on inside my very confused body.

If it turns out that I am not, which I probably am not, then she said we will continue with a different treatment since clo.mid didn't work its magic like it should have. Great - sign me up to be the next Human Pincushion. I have heard/read that those injections are the biggest bitches of all...

Grateful for:

• HPT's to get me through this indecisiveness

Wordless Wednesdays

6 of the President statues that will eventually line the new waterway at the newly constructed Waterlights District in our hometown of Pearland

This is what my husband does when left alone to play with someone else's husband.

Bitterness about rabbits

I met the girlfriend of a friend of my husband's over the weekend. Actually, they came to our casa for fajitas and beer (Tea for me, thank you). She is 34 and has 3 kids - 16, 14, and 9 and has actually been pregnant 5 times total. I found that interesting that for someone who is only 34, she has already had so many pregnancies. I was trying to explain to her that now that I really understand what it takes to CREATE a baby, I am amazed at how 16 year old girls get knocked up in the backseat of a car. I mean, for crying out loud... the friggin' stars have to damn-near be aligned for it all to work! The timing of ovulation and then BMS just at the right moment...etc, etc, etc.

Now, she knows our story, so what was her reply you ask?

"It's not at all about the timing when you're having s*x like rabbits - day after day after day. Do it that way and you're guaranteed to get pregnant!"

THIS I did not like. THIS I felt like asking her to leave. THIS pissed me off. For someone who's never had to "try" to get pregnant, she cannot possibly tell me that all I have to do is hump hubby's brains out every day and BINGO - I'm pregnant. SHUT. THE. HELL. UP!

On another note, I found out yet another person I know is pregnant - my sister's sister-in-law. Yes, the lady who has been married for something like 8 years and NEVER been on an kind of birth control, the year we are "this" close - TA-DAH - pregnant, due in October. GRRRR. The "luck" of some people...

And finally for a more hopeful end to this delightful post...

Grateful for:

• Doctors that are helping my friend avoid the risk of more ovarian cancer by removing her remaining 1/2 of an ovary today.
• Doctors that are allowing her to keep her uterus in hopes to one day birth her own children.
• The fact that I have the opportunity to be in this 2WW at all.

And the 2WW continues...

So this is only 5DPIUI and I am already dreading this blasted 2WW thing! How does anyone survive it? I have been goog.ling various ideas other women have during this time. Most try to do ANYTHING but think about the 2WW and the looming POAS urges! Some re-organize their cabinets, write letters they've been putting off, go shopping....and still others give in to temptation and buy HPT's in bulk! I only have 1 leftover from past testing days and I think I can hear it calling to me from under the sink!!! LOL

I think it's still too early for me to have any PG symptoms per se, and I don't want to jinx myself in the least bit.... But I do feel like I have one - this weird ass metallic taste in my mouth. Today, I first thought it was maybe some bad lettuce from my salad at lunch, but even after drinking throughout the day, it still has not gone away. That makes me hopeful since Dr. Google says it is sometimes known to happen to PG women.

We don't have any St. Paddy's Day plans specifically...hopefully hubby can grab some green beer somewhere just for posterity's sake. And maybe I'll indulge myself in an O'Doul's!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

IUI #1 - DONE!

I was a nervous wreck all morning. The swimmer clinic processed the guys in about 45 minutes. We then had to transport them the 2 blocks back to Dr. H's office. They have to be kept warm so Dean kept them in his pocket with his hand around them.

The actual process only took about 5 minutes. When we were done, Dean says, "So was it as good for you as it was for me?" I say, "It was awesome!" Dr. H and his nurse cracked up at that one! Then I had to lay still on my back for 20 minutes. There was only a little bit of pain because everything was tender from ovulating. Cramps lasted about 2 hours afterwards, and that was it! I laid on the couch all day long hoping to help the guys swim to their goal!

I go next Wednesday for blood work to check my progesterone and then again the following Wednesday for a pregnancy test! Oh the dreaded 2 week wait begins!

Grateful for:

1. My awesome RE who made this cycle an option for us.
2. Husband's increased swimmer counts - his count, motility, and morphology were better than they have ever been!
3. The prayers and support from my family and friends.
   

Wordless Wednedsays

My First Injection

I did it!! I gave myself my first ever injections! I was very nervous, counting down the minutes until 8:00 PM. It was easy, especially since they were pre-filled syringes - no mixing required. They were refrigerated though, so the solution was chilly - that felt weird.

Now the wait is on until tomorrow. I have taken the whole day off since Dean's "appointment" is in the morning and then we go to the RE's office for the IUI afterwards.

Just curious if anyone does anything special the day before an IUI? Eat, drink, baby aspirin? Anything to help it "stick?"

1 Mature Follie

We had a pretty fun weekend. Saturday we took the boat out to Lake Conroe and went fishing. It was a little chilly at first, but warmed up by the afternoon. I didn't catch anything! Not even one tiny nibble! Dean, however, caught 3 nice bass - one was 4 lbs! Pics coming soon. Didn't get a chance to dump the camera... Yesterday we went to the SpringFest 2008 in Old Town Spring with our friends L&R. It was very fun. They had a wine tasting of several Texas wineries. We browsed some shops as well. Nothing caught my eye in particular, but I did come home with a new cookbook! Yeah!

I had my follow-up with my RE yesterday, yes on a Sunday. I arrived in the Med Center early. Man, I wish ALL my appointments were on the weekends. There was no traffic and free parking! LOL. As I had never been on a weekend before, I wasn't aware of the procedure. Apparently you have to check in with the security desk before they use an elevator key to take you to your specific floor. The assistant had told me to go on back to the office since the receptionist would not be in. As I passed through the door I heard a beeping sound start. By the time I got back to the office, the freaking alarm had started going off! Oh and let's not forget that the lights were off and all the doors were closed. No one was there!!! I tried calling the number but all I got was the After Hours message to press 1 if this was an emergency i.e. I was in labor....GRRR. I thought it may have had something to do with the time change, but if so, then they would have been an hour early, not an hour late!

So I went back downstairs and told the security guard that the office was empty and I tripped the alarm! I was so mad they hadn't shown that I just got back in the car to head home. I called Dean and explained my frustration that if this cycle was canceled because of their not showing, I was going to be pissed off! He said to call back and see if I could get a hold of them and to go back to the office. Luckily, I listened to him. I went through the message and pressed 1 for emergency, then explained that it was NOT an emergency, just that the staff was missing for scheduled appointment. The conversation then went like this:

Answering service (AS): "So this is NOT an emergency?"

me: "No, I have an appointment and no one is in the office."

AS: "Are you pregnant?"

me: "Um, no, but that is the ultimate purpose for this appointment."

AS: "You know it's the weekend and we don't take appointments on the weekend?"

me: "Yes, I realize that it's the weekend, but due to the timing of my cycle, I have to be seen today. This was setup by the doctor, not me."

AS: "Timing of your cycle? Oh, who is your doctor?"

me: "Dr. H"

AS: "Oh yes, Dr. H does take patients on the weekends. Let me page him and he'll call you back."
By this time, I have re-parked my car in the garage and have taken over 2 chairs in the lobby to relax and play Tetris on my phone....to wait. My appointment was at 9:30. At 10:00, Dr. H called questioning the appointment as he was not aware, but realized the criticality of the appointment given that I was CD 13 and needed a follicle scan. The assistant (MA) then called and said she was en route, should be there in 15 minutes...

I had strategically placed myself in front of the bank of elevators that open up from the parking garage. Floor 1 = main lobby, floors 2 - 8 = parking garage, floors 9 - 25 = main building. So if you park in the garage, you have to come out these doors to get to the bank of elevators that actually go to the floors. I still had not seen Dr. H or the MA by 11:00. I finally went back to the security desk and asked if anyone had gone to the 18th floor, and he said yes, Dr. H did a while ago. GRRRR.

I finally get up there and Dr. H is apologizing for the mix up, but very glad I persisted because he needs to check me out. He drew my blood (as the tech wasn't there) and then we waited for the MA to get there. She finally showed up about 11:30!

My follicle scan showed that my right side was quiet but my left had 1 mature follie measuring 13X22 cm and my lining was good, but wanted to give me some estrogen to help it thicken up.

We proceed to the Training Room so I can learn how to give myself injections. AACKK! WHAT did you just say??? Oh lordy. I hope I can do it myself because dear old husband is as afraid of needles as he is of spiders! So, Dr. H shows me how to fill the syringe with the saline and powders (Menopur) and then injects it into a training pad which simulates my belly! Next he gives me a syringe with only saline in it for me to TEST on myself so he can be sure I know how to do it! Ok, that goes well. Then he gives me the Menopur syringe we just filled and says to give it to myself. EEK. This is to help stimulate more follicle growth.

He then gives me 2 Ovidrel pre-filled syringes to give myself tonight at 8PM to trigger ovulation!!! That means in approximately 36 hours, we will have our insemination!

Wednesday is the day! WOOHOO!

Grateful for:

• My 1 mature follie
• Advanced Reproductive Technologies A.K.A. ART
• Alaskan Cruise in June

Life in Perspective

"If you start focusing on what you have and what you're grateful for, you will then begin to see more."—Oprah

Browsing through some fellow IF blogs, I came across this one which has inspired me to do the same - Riding the Roller Coaster: Putting things in perspective. Oprah made the Gratitude Journal famous by requesting people to write down/blog 3 things a day you are grateful for. So when you're feeling down and focusing on all the bad things happening in your life, this will open your eyes to see how truly blessed you are.

Grateful for:

• My husband's wanting to have a child with me, even after his are grown with a granddaughter.
• My blog - this is a way for me to describe in detail what is happening with us during our IF Voyage. This is also an outlet for me to be able to avoid the face-to-face, over the phone questions regarding IF. For those of you who know me, you know I prefer emails, texts or IM's to actual human conversation. I also don't have to be embarrased with what I write in here, because hey - if you don't want to read about our follicles or spermies, CLOSE THE BROWSER!
• It's FRIDAY!!.

Wordless Wednesdays

I couldn't resist....

The Ultimate Peep Show

That's my honey, 2nd from the left.

Deano tooting his own horn!! HEEHEE!

My Life, Today

I found this poem entitled, "If I had my Life to Live Over," written by Erma Bombeck. She wrote this after she found out she was dying of cancer. I would like to modify it a little to write it in the present tense, as how I would like to apply to my own life.

My Life, Today

I will go to bed when I am sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for one day.

I will burn the nice candles before they melt in the attic.

I will talk less and listen more.

I will invite friends over to dinner even if the carpet is stained or the sofa is faded.

I will eat popcorn in the 'good' living room and worry much less about the mess it will make.

I will spend more time with my grandmother, even though she may not know I am there.

I will share more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I will insist the car windows NOT be rolled up on a summer day just because my hair has just been fixed.

I will sit on the lawn, even if i get grass stains.

I will cry and laugh less while watching television and more while watching life.

I won't buy anything just because it is practical, won't show soil, or is guaranteed to last a lifetime.

I will use the crystal and the silver more often than just on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I will cherish every moment and realize that the amazement growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kid(s) kiss me impetuously, I will never say, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There will be more "I love you's," and more "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, I will seize every minute...look at it and really see it... See it, live it, and never give it back.

The Winery Weekend

We had a fabulous time on our "It's-Leap-Year-So-We-Have-An-Extra-Day-So-Why-Not-Take-It-Off-And-Go-Out-Of-Town-Trip!" We backed out of the driveway and turned left! We ended up driving down 290. We found an out of the way winery in Giddings called Lehm Berg Winery run by a sweet old German couple. We tasted and ended up with a case!

We actually picked up some brochures from that place and found a Texas Wine Country Trail map so we knew where all the wineries were! We next found Driftwood Winery. It was an awesome place on a cliff with the vineyard below. We bought a case here also. :-)

Just a short drive down the road, we stumbled upon Mandola Winery. We did a tasting and bought another case! And a glass...While sipping the glass, we decided to have dinner at their restaurant, but decided to square up on lodging for the evening. Having no idea where to go, we asked the tasting room girl for some assistance. She googled and found some local B&B's. We stayed at the Prow'd House. It was gorgeous and the hosts were fantastic. They were so open to us given the last minute reservations and then were generous enough to let us stay again on Saturday night.

On Saturday we shopped in the cute shops in Wimberley and purchased the bib in the slideshow. It says "2AM, Party in my crib, BYOB." It was handmade by the senior citizens group and it was too cute to pass up. I had it in mind for my friend's baby, but then Dean says, "Can we keep it for us?" I didn't know what to say. That was a huge step for us and the first official item we've bought for our baby-to-be. I have to admit I even teared up when he said it.

Saturday afternoon, we drove to Johnson City to visit Texas Hills Vineyard. We tasted, bought a glass, and yet another case! This was the best wine of the weekend, by far!

So we ended up with 4 cases to take home and fill up the wine rack! But as the picture shows, we still need many, many more bottles to fill up the rack. It still looks empty :(

I also started the Clomid on Saturday. So far, no side effects - WHEW. I have my follow-up appointment scheduled for 3/09 - a Sunday? This seems weird to me and also because from everything I've read, the follow-up after clomid is usally Day 10. I'll be on Day 13. Keep praying until then!