Kimbosue's Blog has MOOOOOVED!
Some posts are pw protected, so for the super secret decoder pen....ahem... code, please email me at kimbosue2 AT hotmail DOT com.
This blog will remain open. The link is still tied to lots of IF blogs, groups, and websites. I hope someone can read through my journey and find hope and strength and know that there is a light at the end of the IF tunnel. Prayer is the key! I love all my IF girlies I met along the way, and I hope to keep your friendships going forward during this next chapter of Mommyhood. I hope to see you there!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Since NaComLeavMo has started, I have been reading lots of new blogs and (hopefully) lots of new people are reading mine. So I am stealing this from SeussGirl who stole it from Maria to give those new people a little insight about me.
A - Attached or Single: Attached
B - Best Friend(s): hubby, Steph, Shay
C - Cake or Pie: Cake
D - Day of Choice: Friday
E- Essential Item: pony tail holder
F - Favorite Color(s): Green
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Gummy Worms (sour ones!)
H - Hometown: Pasadena, TX
I - Indulgence(s): cooking utensils (LOVE THEM!)
J - January or July: January
K - Kids: 1 furkid
L - Life is incomplete without: my husband and my furkid
M - Marriage Date: 10/15/2005
N- Number of Siblings: 1 younger sister
O - Oranges or Apples: Apples
P- Phobias or Fears: drowning
Q- Quote: The best things in life are unseen...that's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss, and dream.
R- Ring size: 6.5
S - Season: Fall
T- Tag 3 Friends: s.e., PJ, vamplita
U - Unknown fact about me: I won my 5th grade spelling bee
V - Very favorite stores: Pampered Chef, Bed Bath and Beyond, Kirkland's
W - Worst Habit: biting my nails and twirling my hair
X-ray or Ultrasound: more u/s than I can count during the IUI's and x-rays only on the teeth
Y - Your Favorite Food(s): Mexican
Z - Zodiac: Scorpio
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The family - Memorial Day Camping
To almost copy from a fellow blogger (welcome to the blogging universe Lupus Pie!), I'm stealing some of her points and adding a few of my own...
People who have not experienced infertility will never understand the emotional, physical, and mental pain us infertiles endure in our quest to parenthood. Some Fertile Myrtles are clueless; others are just plain insensitive. So, for the sake of educating the fertile community (and hopefully providing some much-needed laughs to those of us still struggling with infertility), I/Lupus Pie compiled the following . . .
Ten Twelve Things Never to Say to Someone Dealing With Infertility”:
Note: In order to protect the (not so) innocent, some names and details have been changed.
- "I got pregnant the first month with all my kids. Just put on some lingerie and attack your husband when he gets home from work." Nice. Because I don't get enough sex advice from strangers.
- "I got pregnant if I just looked at my husband. Oh and it helps when you're having sex like rabbits every day." Right. I know now that it takes more than a "look" to actually get pregnant.
- "Just have more sex. That worked for us. We realized we were just off by a day or so every month, so we started having sex every day and got pregnant right away." Right, thanks. I hadn't thought of actually having sex!
- From a “friend” who shall remain nameless: “Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you weren’t meant to have children.” Really? Maybe you weren’t meant to have an IQ of 40. Unfortunately, you won’t get any smarter. I, however, will have children.
- "I know how frustrating infertility can be. My wife and I tried for FOUR MONTHS before we got pregnant!" Really? FOUR WHOLE MONTHS??! How dreadful! Try 605 days, 7 hours, 22 minutes and 37 seconds!!
- Similarly, so many of my girlfriends who tried to get pregnant for 4-6 months: "I know how you feel." You are freakin' kidding me, right??
- Lots of people have asked, “So how is the baby thing going? Are you pregnant yet?” Thank you to everyone for your interest in my uterus. I will let you know if and when I become pregnant. In the meantime, it’s kind of a sore subject, so please STOP ASKING!
- From my well-meaning girlfriends with kids: "It will happen for you when it's your time. We just had to wait for God to send us the perfect baby for our family. All in God's time." Great theory. But why is it your time again and again, while we never get a shot? Is God punishing me? Is our family not worthy of a baby??
- “I don’t know why all you young people feel like you have to run off and take all these fertility drugs. In my day, people just kept at it until they had a kid and that seemed to work just fine.” Well, us “young people” (and if I was truly that young, I don’t think I’d be having these fertility problems, thank you very much) now have the advantage of all the wonderful medical advances that have taken place over the last few decades. Thank goodness for modern medicine (and welcome to 2008!).
- "If you decide to adopt, I think you should get a baby from Russia so it looks like you. Those Ethiopian babies are malnourished and will have lots of health problems that may not show up for years." Really? Because white adopted babies never have issues?
- "Your husband already has kids, doesn't he? Isn't that enough?" Yes, as a matter of fact he does have 2 GROWN kids and 1 granddaughter, but that still does not change the fact that WE do not have any babies together!!
- "Have you tried putting a pillow under your rear after sex so the spermies can swim there faster? Have you tried charting your temperatures? Have you tried cough syrup and baby aspirin? Have you tried not thinking about it? Have you tried relaxing? YES, YES, and YES! Don't you think I have spent HOURS upon HOURS researching online and reading magazines about the topic? And when I'm thinking about NOT thinking about it, it only makes me think of it more!
People can be such morons!
We didn't end up having to buy hubby a suit after all. He plays trumpet and used to gig quite a lot. Some of those gigs required a tux, so he owned several. We had thought he had gotten rid of them, but when I got home from work yesterday, there he was standing in the living room in a tux with a t-shirt underneath! Come to find out, we still have 3 of them. All we had to buy was a tuxedo shirt and cuff links. SWEET! This meant the money we were going to spend on a suit, we go to spend on my dress(ES). So I found a really nice blue formal dress and a "perfect little black dress" as the sales lady referred to it. WHEW! I was sweating that I wasn't going to be able to find one in time or that fit. Now it's off to find some recipes for tomorrow and send hubby to the grocery store!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
NaComLeavMo has begun so go out there and start commenting!
The Family Camping Trip was a hit! I was anxious at first, since I was the one who set it up and picked the place (new camping site, but same lake that we boat on). But it was a definite success! Of course, I am still the procrastinating camera dump-er I was last week! But I was the only one with a camera so I will definitely have to get them out and available for public viewing soon!
It was pretty hot during the daytime - around 94 - but where we were camped, it was super convenient to just jump in the lake to cool down. The tent sites were on a peninsula of land so we camped on the water (which cooled things down at night), parked our boat behind the tent, swam by the tent, and fished by the tent. SUPER EASY! Much better than some layouts where you have to hike 2.5 miles to the potty and 3.5 miles to the boat!
We swam and fished and tubed to our hearts content! It was super fun! We caught 50 white bass over the weekend by trolling across the lake. Pete, the campground manager, told us about "The Spot. He was right on the money! We'll be having another fish fry as soon as everyone is finished vacationing during June.
Speaking of vacations.......We leave on Saturday for our Alaskan cruise! WOOHOO! I am overwhelmed with how little time we have left to prepare for it though. We've been out of town the past 2 weekends with other functions in between. I am also hosting a birthday party for my dear friend S on Thursday night at my house. So somewhere in the next 2 days I have to find a formal dress, find hubby a suit, get a pedi, make for sure we have all our other essentials, drop off Maddie girl at Grammy's and bake a birthday cake! Luckily this is my Friday off so we'll have all day long to clean up from the party and get any really last minute things done.
How was everyone else's Memorial Day weekend?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
What Kind of Wine Are You? Take the Quiz
You are a Cabernet Sauvignon - Strong, powerful, and make your presence felt.
Your friends often describe you as the life of the party and people often gravitate towards you. You make your opinion known and don't like to keep things inside. When you watch a bad movie or eat a bad meal, you make it known! You have a lot of energy and enthusiasm but it can be hard to keep your attention for longer than it takes to watch a video on YouTube. You are courageous and welcome adventure in your day to day life and in small and large doses alike.
Cabernet Sauvignon is commonly referred to as the "king of wine." Your grapes produce wines with a lot of depth and flavor, and remind the drinker of plum, black cherry, and currant. This type of wine is often kept in oak barrels, hence its common "oaky" taste. In the U.S., you are usually grown in Napa Valley in Northern California, internationally you have been made famous in the Bordeaux region of France. If you're looking for food to pair with, you can't go wrong with a big steak!
To learn more about wine, and to create your personal taste profile to identify wines that you would love, we invite you to check out Bottlenotes a great site for those new to wine as well as the serious collectors.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sister RN performing splinter removal surgery
My dear husband
Monday, May 19, 2008
We enjoyed our time in LA. Saturday we spent fishing at the pond. We caught about 10 really big brimm and 1 bass. Mom and D cleaned them up and brought them home. This means there's another fish fry in my future! YUM-O!!
We had catfish Saturday night at the hole in the wall restaurant in the hole in the wall town I mentioned last week. They were super yummy! The reunion was nice. We got to see all of our relatives - great aunts and uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins, etc. There were a bunch of kids running around. The house is on a lake so the kids were wading out into the water and making a mess of themselves with the water and the mud!
There was actually zero mention of "when are you having a baby?" I was very impressed. There was, however, a 2nd cousin who, as of last year's reunion, was in her 1st year in college. This year, she was about 6 months pregnant and had her boyfriend there. Apparently college didn't really work out for her, but looks like she had a good time! :)
On the completely other side of the family, I found out last week that another family member is pregnant with their 7th child. COME ON! Isn't that more than the recommended number per household? SHARE THE LOVE, MAN!
And on another note... I was taking Pro.metrium for the past 7 days. Of course, CD1 would happen when I'm out of town, unprepared, in the country, where the closest Wal*Mart is 30 minutes away! Luckily, we had to run into "town" after dinner on Saturday for some other things, so I was able to pick up some plugs (As my husband lovingly refers to them). This means in 21 days from Sunday, I'll be starting the Met.
(I totally forgot to get out my camera for the reunion, so I only have 2 pics of us fishing. Will post them this week!)
- Carpooling with the parents so I could read my book and not have to keep D occupied during the drive.
- The peanut.butter pie and baked.potato.casserole were hits! I didn't have any left to bring home!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
So today is the last day of the work week for me. WOOHOO! Tomorrow is the first Friday off for my 9/80 summer schedule. In the morning we are dropping Maddie girl off at the kennel for the first time. I hope she's not too scared or depressed being away from us for 3 days. We're headed to Louisiana for a family reunion until Sunday. A 6 hour drive with Dean and my parents. Good thing I have 2 books to read on the way!
Speaking of the reunion...although it will be nice to see everyone again (this is only an annual thing), it will again be a reminder that we don't have any kids of our own. I have some 2nd cousins who are 5 or so years younger than me, going on their 3rd and 4th kids already. Seems like one or more of them are pg at every reunion! And oh the questions..."when are y'all having kids? You're not getting any younger, you know. How long have you been married?" UGH. Luckily we're not particularly close to any of them so they are unaware of our IF struggles, only that we're "trying to have a baby." Maybe I can keep up the facade that we are still "trying" the natural way...
Other than Baby Drama, I am sure we will have a good time. I'm cooking chicken and dumplings (Grandma's recipe) on Friday night, Saturday there will be fishing at the pond with Mom, driving the 4 wheeler (with a new seat courtesy of my husband!) around the woods, Catfish Dinner @ this hole in the wall we've gone to for years. And when I say hole in the wall, I'm not only talking about the restaurant, I'm talking the town too. Population 357. No I am not kidding! Check it out yourself! The actual reunion is on Sunday. I am taking Baked Potato Casserole and a dessert that has yet to be determined....any suggestions?
Anyway, hope you all have a fun filled weekend and I'll see you around next week!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Not to much to report really. The fish fry at Mom & Dad's was great. I love me some fishies! I'll leave you with this fun photo from Shayla's 30th Bday Bash AKA Drunk Fest 2008....
As H's caption reads (so lovingly) under this same pic on myspace...."Ah yes, Kim was very reserved that night!!"
Monday, May 12, 2008
The follow up u/s with Dr. H on Saturday proved upsetting. The follies didn't grow from the size they were on Tuesday until Saturday, even with the extra Men.opur injections. They were still only 8. This was very distressing since during the previous cycle, on the same protocol, they were growing like weeds.
Dr. H wanted to "talk" after the scan so I knew what was coming. Basically he said my body was "unresponsive to ovulation." The fact that sometimes it responds well and sometimes it doesn't means that it really doesn't know what it wants to do. He also thinks the reactions may be indicating P.C.O.S. Because of the differing reactions, he suggested a rest cycle this time. Although it tore me up to agree with him, I do agree. It's time to give my body a rest from all the extra hormones and injections I have been giving her since January. This is also good timing as we are scheduled to be out of town every weekend for the remainder of May, as well as a 7 day cruise the first week of June. I can't imagine shooting up on a cruise ship...
So along with rest and relaxation, he has also prescribed Met.formin to be started 21 days after my cycle starts this month. This is traditionally a diabetic medication, but has been studied to help P.C.O.S patients get pregnant. Apparently there are side effects ranging from upset stomach, diarrhea, to weight-loss. I'm all over the last one!!! The side effects are typical in the first week of taking it, as the body is getting used to it. Then the 2nd week, the dosage and is doubled, and the 3rd week, tripled. After the Met.formin is in my system, we'll proceed with IUI #4. Depending on how my body responds to this we'll determine the protocol.
So that's how my weekend started. Not very uplifting or positive in any way. Although the husband keeps telling me that at least Dr. H didn't say there was NO chance. There is a chance, it just isn't going to happen until the summer and we will be able to try again. To get my mind off of the rest cycle, we spent the rest of the day gardening. D had to get a new part for his 25 year old Snapper to mow the yard and I pulled weeds for like 5 hours. It was hot, so that 5 hours included several breaks to prevent getting overheated. We also made a soaker hose and buried it in one of the bigger beds behind the garage. If I can't grow eggs, at least I can grow pretty flowers!
Yesterday we visited Grandma for Mother's Day. She still has some wit about her, I'll tell you that. She even cried when I read our card out loud to her. After the visit, we picked up the china cabinet from her house to take to mine. Dad even gave me her old china to put in it. It was very sweet of him. It is very special to me. I'll have to post pics once everything is cleaned up and in the cabinet.
Grateful for: (wow, even after a shitty weekend, I have 5!!)
- "Slow and steady wins the race" is the new motto. I am the new Tortoise.
- I can now participate in the margaritas during the Memorial Day family camping trip.
- Also I can share the bottle of wine being provided to us during the cruise with D.
- And I can drink more of the wine we picked up during winery weekend!! (Man it sounds like I am an alcoholic, but really I just love wine!!!)
- Fish Fry at Mom & Dad's tonight!
Friday, May 9, 2008
It would figure that the only cycle week I have bad performing eggies is the week Dr. H goes out of town for a conference. I have to funnel all questions through the nurse and wait for him to call into the office, and then wait for the nurse to call me back. All of this IF stuff is so frustrating with the waiting, waiting, waiting...
Nurse A called me back around 5:00 yesterday. She said Dr. H wanted me to take Menopur x3 last night and again tonight. Then come in Saturday morning for an u/s and b/w with him. I am so thankful for that (and thankful to not have to see Bad Vibes u/s tech anymore). I was wondering how I would get through the weekend with all of this not knowing the outcome of my eggies or this cycle in general.
- Dr. H is back from the conference - YAHOO!
- That I still had some Menopur leftover and didn't have to order more.
- Killen's Steakhouse for Mother's Day tonight (It was a scheduling thing, but VERY GLAD we don't have to endure seeing all of those moms gathered with their children.)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
I am already feeling very emotional/hormonal today and since I have another u/s and b/w at 8:30, this means I had to drive in to work again (vs the van pool). I was on a 2 lane road going 45 and this stupid Civic pulls out from a neighborhood and doesn't speed up...continues about 20 so of course, I have to slam the brakes to avoid hitting him. Then what does he do? Oh, he puts his blinker on to turn left onto the first street past where he just came from! OMG! Thanks alot you a**hole!
A few BLOCKS later, I pulled up to a light next to a Corvette and he decided he wanted to race when the light turned green. So I did.... and I won. Yeah for Zoe! But then as we are slowing down (a little) through the next intersection (Don't worry kids, it was 6:15AM so not too many people out and about) this little Nissan pickup turns right, right in front of me! Again with the brakes...
A few BLOCKS after that, I am in the right lane singing with the radio driving the speed limit and there's a school bus beside me. Suddenly he puts on his blinker and starts to come over! I was almost a school bus/curb sandwich. So I lay on the horn and slam the brakes yet again and he moved back over...
So this is a fair warning to those of you I will come in contact with today, and especially this morning.... I am NOT in a good mood.
I REALLY should have stayed home today. How can, in only 5 miles, 3 different cars cut me off, put on their brakes and their blinkers because they want into another lane? This happened on a 2 way road and the FREEWAY for crying outloud!! Since when is it OK to drive 40 with your brakes on because you need to get over? OMG
This was the only weekend we had available in May to do the IUI. After that its family reunion in LA, Family camping trip for Memorial Day, and the Cruise starts on 5/31 - 6/8.... Dr. H did say that if this one didn't take then we would take rest cycle before trying something else. But I don't want to rest...
U/s was again with me doing the inserting. Just weird if you ask me. The lining was still 8 and the follies were still 8.
- What does this mean will happen to this cycle?
- Will it be canceled?
- Is it my fault the follies are not growing because of Drunk Fest 2008?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Today we'll start with 2 songs I heard on the way to work that seem to clarify how I am feeling today: Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi and Faith by George Michael. That's how I feel after yesterday's appointment.
As I mentioned yesterday, Dr. H is out of town, but as we all know this IF stuff is all time relative, so it had to be done. He offices on a floor with a bunch of other OB/Gyn's and mid-wives so there are u/s techs in abundance. She was a little Chinese lady who was very soft spoken. She didn't even look at my hoohoo. She pulled the "blanket" all the way over me, to my ankles and handed me the dildo-cam and said, "I know this is different from Dr. H, but you need to put it in." HUH? Ok, so under the covers I go to insert the thing. Anyway, then she "drove" to take the pics he had requested. She wasn't telling me anything like lining thickness or eggie sizes so I finally had to ask. She said the lining was 8, which was good....followed by "have you responded well to this treatment before?" oh no. That was NOT a good question. Of course I have...WHY? Oh well these are only about 8 and that's small. Gee...thanks for the vote of confidence lady. So she leaves me to re-dress and I cry on the table. UGH. I am so sick of crying.
Then down to the lab in Dr. H's office. I ask the nurse when he would have the report from the u/s and when she would be talking to him. She said he tries to call around 4 so she should be able to fax him the report by then and call me with what to do next. I told her about the small eggies and she said she would let him know.
Not only was Dr. H out, but so was the lab tech from Q.uest. He is always so sweet and has never had to poke me twice. Dr. H's nurse had to do it. She didn't like the arm and/or the vein Q.uest guy uses....so that made me nervous. Then she squeezed the vein, poked the vein with her finger, almost put the needle in....about 25 times! I finally had to tell her that she was making me very nervous. I guess since she has the lab guy, she doesn't really get to practice poking people much.
Nurse S called me back around 5:30. She said that Dr. H wanted me to take Antagon today AM and tomorrow AM and come in for another u/s on Thursday to make for sure the eggies are growing. I have never taken Antigon, but Google MD told me this:
Antagon is a new medication that will allow IVF doctors to utilize IVF stimulation protocols without requiring the use of Lupron. Like Lupron, Antigon blocks the Luteinizing Hormone surge that, if occurring prematurely, will jeopardize a successful egg retrieval by causing premature release of the eggs from the follicles. Using Antigon, the single egg follicle can be allowed to mature without risking egg release prior to retrieval.
Basically to prevent me from ovulating too soon. So I'm on my way to his office now to get the Antigon (shipping from the IF pharmacy wouldn't get here in time). Now the IUI for the weekend will be determined by tomorrow's u/s results... and so we wait....
Back from the RE...the "real" name of the injection is ganirelix acetate aka Antagon. The injection site is hurting, as is my abdomen. But according to the information in the box, these are normal reactions.
- Antagon - to prevent us from having to cancel this cycle
- Dr. H caring enough to treat his patients from afar
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Well the weekend parties are well behind us. And APPARENTLY I had a good time. Since it was possibly the last "party" before I get knocked up, I went out like a champ. I am too embarrassed to actually post pics that were taken of myself, but let's here's a sneak peek at some I have already seen on some friends' cameras/myspace:
- 3 Jager bombs + an Apple Pucker Mother F***er shot
- Several pics of me double fisting TWO Captain and Cokes
- oh and the pic of me KISSING the Birthday Girl on the MOUTH with my arm wrapped around her neck. Apparently I was upset because she has lots of pics of her kissing her OTHER friends, but not me. That is because I DON'T LIKE KISSING GIRLS!!! (No James, there was no tongue action!)
So on Sunday morning, I had to ask D what time we got home and if he picked up all of my "stuff" - decorations and bowls and such. Good thing my husband was there to take care of me! I spent Sunday at a Pot Luck lunch for the Sou.th Be.lt committee. We BS'd afterwards til 6, then headed to D&S's to chill (per D, to celebrate Quatro de Mayo!). The ladies gossipped and hung out on the deck, while the men also hung out on the deck and worked on killing a case of Bud. Needless to say, I did not partake in those beverages!
Cinco de Mayo went well. We had Mexican food and margaritas/Corona at Los Cucos in Pearland. I wasn't really into the partying spirit per se, though because of the before mentioned DRUNK FEST 2008.
I have my final follie scan and b/w appointment scheduled for this afternoon. Dr. H is actually out of town for a conference so this will be the first u/s I have had without him performing it. I am a little nervous the tech won't do the right measurements or "see" everything like he does. He is supposed to get the info ASAP to Dr. H so I can know what day to trigger this week - it'll be Thursday or Friday, with the IUI being Saturday or Sunday (Mother's Day, how appropriate).
So, please keep us in your prayers this week!
- IUI #3 on Mother's Day weekend
- The injections are D-O-N-E!
- Tonight is Bunko!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Huh? What? That's right. It's National Comment Leaving Month as adopted by Mel at Stirrup Queens. From May 25th - June 25th, leave 5 comments a day (including one for me!). Or become an Iron Commenter and leave 100 a week! There are other rules listed on Mel's post, along with how to sign up to participate.
Have you been lurking? Those bloggers you read through Blog.lines or Goo.gle Reader don’t know you read them faithfully every day. They don't know you laugh out loud at some of their stories or even cry with them as you read what they experience. So go sign up and and start commenting!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Last night was the first Meno.pur shot this go round. 3 vials instead of 2 and this one stung a little. Maybe it was the alcohol, but it burned a minute or so. I feel like such a drug addict with my little arsenal of meds and needles. I need to post a pic of it. I am a Junior Walgreens!
Clo.mid X 2
Meno.pur X 3
Today is my friend SI's 30th birthday. We're going to Don'Key for the 10 year(ish) "tradition" of having birthday dinner there, then a big she-bang party at a local pub in Pasa-get-down-Dena with an up-and-coming Texas Country band, Matt Deaton & Front Porch Texas on Saturday. Matt went to our high school. It should be good time given that ONLY 90 people have RSVP'd!!
- Don'Key Ritas
- That I'm finally not the only one in my circle of friends that's 30!
- Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!